In the World of Dreams Alone
by Sake-kunXx
Summary: Based on a poem I wrote ages ago. Trapped in Pete's world, Rose dreams of masked children telling her of a way to return to her Doctor. SPOILERS: series 1 & 2 and Zelda and the Majora's Mask, but you don't have to have played the game to understand. R&R!
1. That secret escape that is my own

In the world of dreams alone,

**Chapter 1-In the world of dreams alone**

_In the world of dreams alone,_

_That secret escape that is my own,_

_Can I return back into your arms,_

_My only safe place, away from harm,_

Rose is dreaming again. Every night she found herself in a beautiful world of her mind's imagining. It was always the same place, but it never failed to amaze her. As far as the eye could see; fields of perfect, shimmering grass, the scent of apples and strawberries and it seemed even time itself wafting up as the wind caught the bright green blades. But then she thought it impossible to give a scent to time. Did time even have a smell? He would know. But he's not here. He's never here. She sees the familiar tree in the distance; a beautiful tree, similar to an oak, but so much bigger, its canopy further reaching than any plant on Earth could ever hold up.

She walked slowly towards it, her hair drifting on the soft breeze, feeling more like she was floating than actually walking, as if the tree was gently pulling her closer. She saw for the first time children playing around the tree, wearing strange masks. They chased each other, laughing happily around the great roots that came erupting out of the ground around the tree. As she got nearer, Rose's eyes where drawn to a child who was sitting amongst the roots, a bizarre and unnerving purple mask with strange spikes protruding from its edge hiding their face, their entire body bound in dazzlingly white bandages. Rose walked towards the child, nervous.

'Ain'tcha gonna go play with the other kids?' she asked uncertainly.

The child didn't react, the great yellow eyes of the mask lifeless and staring, its green irises small and with the look of insanity residing within them. The only sign of life that she could see was the bandaged chest rising and falling as it breathed, and even that seemed to be slowed to almost nothing at all. She knelt down in front of the child, trying to make it look at her. They seemed to have difficulty holding up their head, letting it loll onto their chest.

'Hello?' she said, waving her hand in front of the mask. Nothing.

'Hello.'

Rose jumped up as one of the other children spoke beside her, her heart missing a beat.

'You almost gave me a heart attack!' she said, hand over her chest. 'Do you make a habit of creepin' up on people?'

'You're the golden lady, aren't you?' asked the child with an aboriginal looking mask and the voice of a little boy. He stared up at her, black slits in the mask serving as eyes. 'You're the wolf who saved him.' The boy's head tilted, 'You don't look like a wolf to me. But it's there in your eyes. The darkness.'

'What are ya talking about? And what's with the masks?' Rose said, unnerved by the void of emotion on the face before her.

'You were trying to talk to the Majora.' Said the boy, his head tilting the other way before turning to look at the child on the grass. 'He's no fun. He used to play with us, but then the wood boy came and took all the fun for himself to have. It's a shame that the wood boy couldn't come. He seems fun.'

Rose shook her head, furrowing her brow at the child's change of subject.

'What's your name?' she asked.

'I'm Odolwa.' He said, raising his fingers to the black hole where his mouth should be and whistling loudly. The children that had been chasing butterflies came to an abrupt stop, their arms dropping to their sides and turning in unison. Then they were running, all three children rushing to join Odolwa and Rose in front of the unmoving Majora.

'Is she the golden wolf?' as one child, her mask a yellow base with twin red bands coming from behind the mounted head of what looked like a goat with four ears.

'Yes, is she the angel of the wise man's dreams?' asked a boy hiding behind the face of an insect with three huge green eyes above a pair of vicious mandibles.

'Okay, who are you and why are you all wearing masks?' Rose demanded, her patience wearing thin.

'I'm Gyorg.' Answered a purple faced girl, tilting her head on the side.

'Goht.' Replied the goat headed girl, waving.

'I'm Twinmold.' Said the insect boy.

'And why are you wearing those freaky masks?' Rose asked.

'Because it's more fun that way.' Odolwa said, as if it was obvious. 'And also, it makes it easier if people can't see your emotions. He taught us that. But his mask is less obvious than ours. Once it was a black jacket, but now it's just his smile. But _you_ should know that, wolffy lady.'

'His eyes show you.' Goht said, plonking herself down on the grass and fanning her skirt over her knees. 'When I looked into his eyes, I saw you. And when I look into your eyes I see him. You think about each other all the time. And he said that soon he will come back. And you've got to be ready.'

'Yeah.' Said Gyorg, sitting next to her friend on the grass. 'He said that soon he will ask you to do something and you have got to do it. Otherwise he'll be left alone. He'll be back. He always visits here. But not in his whirring machine. Even she can't come here.'

'You mean the Doctor, don't you?' Rose asked, copying the children in sitting in the dappled shade of the great tree. 'What do you mean, 'She can't come here?' the TARDIS can go anywhere.'

'Not here.' Twinmold said, making the circle complete by sitting with his back to the Majora. 'This is the place that can only be reached in the dreams of soul mates. And there are no true soul mates in such dire need of it as you. He's working so hard… he hasn't the time to come at the moment. But next time you come, he will be here. Soon the man who hides in his smiles will come with his instructions. And you've got to be ready, wolffy lady.'

'My name's Rose,' Rose insisted, trying to make herself stay calm at the children's riddles. 'And I'm not a wolf, so would you-'

'Rose?' Gyorg asked, tilting her head. She jumped up, reaching behind her back as if to reach an annoying itch there. With a flourish she held out her hand, holding out a beautiful rose unlike any Rose had ever seen. Its petals seemed to change colour, depending on the way it caught the light. From some positions it looked red, in others pink, or blue or the purple in between. The masked girl gave Rose the flower, holding it out in front of her and sitting back down. 'To give you luck.'

'What's wrong with that kid over there?' Rose asked, looking up from the flower for the first time, pointing at the bandaged child.

'Like I said.' Odolwa responded, crossing his arms. 'He's the Majora. But then the boy from the forest came and took all the fun out of the Majora. The boy in green gave away the mask to the wood boy who played in the forest. The wood boy got lost one day and made a flute to help him make new friends and help them through the woods. But the green boy gave away the mask and the wood boy couldn't control it. He took all the Majora's fun for himself and now he's gone bad. All that's left over there is the Majora's body. He kept getting cold, so we wrapped him up. Now he never plays and the wood boy has all the fun.'

'The wood boy isn't very nice now.' Goht giggled. 'He wants to hurt everyone. He made friends with the moon and the moon is gonna help him hurt people. But that doesn't matter. The green boy who changes his face is gonna stop him and make the Majora fun again.' All the children laughed, making Rose scared. 'The Green boy is gonna come here and we're going to play with him.'

The blue sky started to bleach out, the light around them becoming blindingly bright.

'It's time for you to go, wolffy lady.' Gyorg said, standing up with the others and straightening out her dress.

'Can't wait to see you again.' Twinmold said.

'He'll be here when you come next time.' Goht agreed.

'And maybe then you can meet the Majora and the green boy.' Odolwa nodded as the dream world faded and they went back to chase butterflies. He waved over his shoulder. 'Bye Rose!'

'Rose.' Came Jackie Tyler's voice, breaking through Rose's dreams and watching her daughter squint as she opened the curtains of her huge room in the Tyler mansion.

'Get up, it's a glorious day.' Jackie said, picking up the dirty clothes off Rose's floor and putting them on top of the pile growing from the laundry basket in the corner.

'And don't you bother going back to sleep. I'm doing a fry up downstairs and you're not spending another day in here.'

Rose rubbed her eyes, trying to wake herself up. She raked a hand through her hair, realising that it was in serious need of a good comb through. She licked her lips, stifling a yawn.

'Weird dream.' She croaked, trying to shake the thoughts of masked children out of her head as she gave up and let her head fall back on the pillow. But as she collapsed, something bright caught her eye. She opened her tired eyes to find on the pillow next to her an exact replica of the rose from her dream. Suddenly wide awake, she sat up, holding the flower in front of her. She turned it, the petals changing colour in the morning light.

'Oh, my God!' she gasped, holding the flower to her chest. 'It was real.'

'Are you out of that bed yet?' Jackie yelled up the stairs.

'Coming, mum.' Rose shouted back, her heart beating madly.

She was going to see the Doctor again.

Every night Rose hoped to go back to the dream world, but for days she was disappointed, her sleep filled only with the darkness of blind sleep, every morning she hiding her disappointment behind a smile that never quite met her eyes. The shock of discovering her mother's pregnancy had helped her get over the sadness brought by her Doctorless dreams, and the shopping spree that followed was welcomed, Pete being left to carry the copious amount of bags carrying a combination of baby and maternity clothes, as well as clothes, make up and jewellery for Rose.

Jackie saw through her façade, knowing that she needed something to put her mind off losing the Doctor, and sometimes a day's shopping with an almost unlimited supply of cash and credit cards can do wonders for a girl with a broken heart.

But in the car going home, she sensed her daughter's unhappiness retuning to her.

'Rose, what's the matter sweetheart?'

Rose looked up, surprised at being broken out of her musings. 'Hmm?'

'I know you're still missing the Doctor, and I understand that, but there's something else, ain't there?' Rose looked away, but Jackie caught her under the chin, turning her head to make her look at her in the eyes. 'What is it? You've always been able to talk about anything with me. I don't want this to be another Jimmy Stone.'

'Mum, it's nothing.' Rose said, but even she didn't believe the sincerity of it.

'It is.' Jackie insisted, her eyes boring into her daughter's.

Rose sighed, sinking back into the seat and running a hand through her hair, mirroring of the Doctor's nervous mannerism. 'I had a dream, the other night.' She conceded.

'What was it about?' Jackie asked, mimicking her daughter in sitting back in the leather seats of the car.

'It was like ones I've had before; the same place. Only this time there were all these kids, playing around a tree. They all wore these creepy masks, and they talked about the Doctor. They said that he went there often, and that it was a place that could only be reached in the dreams soul mates, and that the Doctor and I were the only ones that really needed it. They said that he would come soon and tell me what I had to do.'

'Maybe…' Jackie said carefully, 'Have you thought that maybe this is just a dream?'

'Yeah, but there was something else. One of the kids gave me this rose, right? And when I woke up,' she reached into her pocket, getting out the flower to show to her mother, 'there it was, right next to me on the pillow.'

Jackie's eyes lit up at the sight of the rose, her mouth falling open at the spectrum of colours that seemed to radiate from it. 'How come it wasn't crushed in your pocket?'

'I don't know,' Rose admitted, 'It doesn't even seem to need watering or anything, it just… lives.'

'So… have you seen the Doctor? In your dreams?'

'No,' Rose said, putting the flower back in her pocket, 'Not yet. But they said he would come. And I believe them.'

'Why?' Jackie asked, her eyes still watching where Rose had hidden the rose.

'Because I've got nothing else to hope for.' Rose replied, swallowing the lump that had suddenly appeared in her throat.

Rose continued living her life in a world that was not her own, the comforting sound of the TARDIS replaced by the steady thrum of the zeppelins that filled an unfamiliar sky. She had been given a job in the newly reinstated Torchwood tower, quickly moving up through the ranks. She made a few friends, but she knew that they were uncertain of her. She could see that they wanted to ask questions about her sudden appearance, but she also noticed that most of them had been called into Pete's office quite soon after meeting them, or Mickey would pull them away to one side for a little 'chat'.

She pretended to be ignorant of their mollycoddling, secretly glad of the lack of uncomfortable questions. Here thoughts centred around the Doctor enough as it was without having to explain about him or invent stories without him.

Life inside the Tyler mansion had changed quite a bit since she had arrived too. There was always slight confusion when ever the name 'Rose' was shouted, both the young woman and the small Yorkshire terrier reacting to the call, but that was the smallest of differences. With a new Jackie and a new Rose coming into the house, there had been another new face; Mickey had moved in straight away, anxious to look after his friends.

Rose often thought about how strange a curve her relationship with her ex had under gone. In the parallel universe, she had loved him, though she had never actually put it into words, but now… in this universe… she still loved him, even more, as it happened. He was there for her when ever she needed him; a shoulder to cry on. But now it was more of a brother-sister love. He would tease her out of her depression, always ready to go on a tissue and chocolate run when she ran out, and even managed to make her laugh where everyone else had failed. With him in the house, she felt safe and comfortable, because he had seen at least a little of what she had. He knew what a rush it was to travel through the stars; to open the doors and step out onto another planet. He was the only one who could really understand what it was to lose that.

He had tested to see where they were in the relationship, knocking in the door every so often, but she told him softly to go back to bed. She knew that it was sort of his way of trying to make her feel better, but she couldn't go down that road again. Not after the Doctor. She couldn't imagine herself with anyone after him. It wasn't like… they had never been anything other than friends; best friends. But that didn't stop her looking at him. Didn't stop her from falling in love with him.

It had been uncomfortable when Cassandra had confronted her about it; knowing the Doctor would remember it, just as she had. But he had never mentioned the time spent on New Earth, nor what was said during body swapping.

He had never mentioned the kiss.

She remembered the feeling of his hair as fingers that were not her own ran through them, and the softness of his lips under her own. Cassandra had stolen that moment, sullied it. Frightened him maybe. They had never talked about it, instead carrying on to go on a shopping spree in New New York, continuing their merry waltz around the universe, over looking discomfort and difficulties. But she cherished that kiss, sullied as it was. Because it was all she had; the closest to the real thing she had with the Doctor. Seeing her mum pregnant woke her up to the fact that maybe she would never have the same thing. That there was nothing more in life for her now.

It was so hard getting back to a normal life after living with the Doctor for so long. She could hardly sleep now that she didn't have the relaxing hum of the TARDIS to keep her company. It was hard to get used to being woken up gently by her mother shaking her or her voice, instead of the rigorous tremors that shook through her bed as the Doctor bounced on it every morning like a kid at Christmas.

But most of all it was hard getting used to not seeing the Doctor. Not walking in to the kitchen in the morning to find him smiling sheepishly with a broom in hand, trying to dislodge a pancake from the ceiling, or trying to get rid of the plumes of smoke from his failed attempts at a fried breakfast. It was hard walking past the bathroom and hearing her father singing in the shower instead of the Doctor, or hearing him yelp quietly as he cut himself with the razor. When she walked out of the door, it was never to see triple sunned skies or frozen waves or dark forests or cities of glass. When she looked into the night sky, it was always the same stars; the same moon staring mockingly at her. And it was killing her.

When she had met the Doctor, he had been a broken man, the scars of the war visible only to her. She had taken him and made him happy again. But then she had done something, the memory still unwilling to reveal itself to her, and he had shattered, and when the pieces joined again, they formed a new man. She had been the one to pull away then, and it had been him to take her and make her smile again. It had been his turn to fit her back together and make her trust him again. To show her that nothing had changed, that he was the same man; the same hearts; the same memories. The same ability to make something deep inside her curl up when ever he took her hand. The same ability to make her stop breathing with only a look or a smile.

And without him she was broken. Without him there was no one to put her truly back together again.

And that was why she believed the masked children from her dreams.

Because if she didn't, then she was nothing.

Without the hope of seeing the Doctor, she might as well die.

And the scariest thing was, it was starting to seem like death was an option she was willing to take.


	2. Whispers on the Wind

Chapter 2- Whispers on the Wind

**Chapter 2- Whispers on the Wind**

'_Rose.'_

At last she found herself in the secret world that she sought. The children played joyfully around the great tree, laughing and dancing around the vacant eyed Majora, the dappled shade of the great tree shimmering around her. But everything around her ceased to matter. It was as if the very world around here faded to nothing as his soft voice whispered out to her.

'Doctor?'

'Rose. You're here. I thought that…'

He broke off.

'Where are you?' Rose breathed, swallowing her tears.

'Asleep on the TARDIS. I wish I could see you.'

'Why can't I see you? The kids said…'

'Rose, it's a miracle we're even talking. I'm just glad to be able to hear your voice again…' he cleared his voice, as if struck by a sudden idea, 'Where are you? I mean here? Whereabouts are you in the field? Describe it to me.'

'Under the tree,' she swallowed, trying to illustrate her position as best as she could, 'Beside me on my left there's a root coming out of the grass. It looks like a… a cobra, just rising up, stopping at waist height. It's sorta… fanned out, like you see when they're being charmed.'

'Put your hand on the head of the root.'

'Why?'

'I just want to test something.'

She followed his instruction. And gasped.

Just like the day that she was trapped here, when she was banging on the wall at Canary Wharf, something had stopped her. The tiniest of whispers against her flesh. It was the same. A cool tingling on her trembling hand. Like a ghost.

'You can feel it?' he asked, his voice a horse whisper.

'Yes,' Tears slid slowly down her face. 'Why can't I see you? Why can't…'

'Rose listen, there isn't much time,' His voice seemed closer, as if he was right beside her ear, the touch moving up her arm as he moved, stopping at her shoulder. The wind shifted and for a moment she could smell his scent; oil and honey and… it was there again… that scent of time and the universe.

Star dust.

'I need you to do something for me. Please I need you to…'

'I'd do anything for you,' she smiled, a single tear sliding down her cheek. 'Just tell me what you need.'

'I need you to listen.'

'I'm listening.'

'No… when you wake up… you'll hear me. Pack for a long journey. I don't know where the gap will appear, but you've got to be ready for it,' She could almost imagine his brown eyes staring into hers, felt the spectral hand trace the flesh up from her arm to cup her cheek. If she closed her eyes she could picture him. 'I need to see you again. Even if it's the last time… I can't just… I have to say goodbye. I've got to…'

'Me too,' She interrupted. She knew he wasn't used to saying things like this to companions. She'd met Sarah-Jane, after all. She had seen how it usually was. No goodbyes, no second glances. So what made her different?

The sky turned white. She was waking up.

'No! Not yet!' she cried out in distress, the feeling of his hand on her face moving away, 'just a bit longer, please!'

She couldn't be sure, but she could have sworn she felt the press of lips against hers, just for an infinitesimal moment.

'Wait for me,' He whispered against her parted lips. 'Promise you'll wait for me, Rose.'

'Forever.'

'_Rose'_

She sat up suddenly, her breathing sharp and dizzying as the dream world faded from her eyes, yet the feel of his lips on hers still present. She touched them tenderly, closing her eyes to memorise that moment.

'_Rose.'_

'I had a dream…' Rose said, looking at her clasped hands in front of the fire, shifting uncomfortably. Pete, Jackie and Mickey sat opposite her, listening to her, tiredness hidden from their faces by concern.

'He was there… the Doctor. He told me that I've got to go to him. That it's the last time…' she shook her head, raising her chin 'I've got to go.'

Jackie and Pete shared a look. Mickey nodded along with her words. She told them the whole story, from the first dream and the masked children to the root and his voice.

'How you gonna know where to go?' Pete asked when she had spun her tale. 'He said that even he didn't know how far away this… gap is gonna be, so how are you gonna know?'

Rose smiled sleepily, looking distant. 'I can hear him.' She tapped her head with her forefinger, 'In here. He's calling to me. And I said I'd come.'

'Rose, love, this could all be a dream.' He pointed out, 'Just a dream.'

'Pete…' Jackie chided wearily, but she was cut short by Mickey.

'How can you say that? You saw what the Doctor can do. He sealed the void; he got rid of the Daleks and the Cybermen. He saved both universes, and yet you don't think he's capable of findin' a way to say goodbye to Rose?' he stood up, walked around the chairs to sit behind Rose on the beanbag she'd sat herself on in front of the fire, wrapping a reassuring arm around her shoulders. 'I've met the Doctor. I've travelled with him, and I know that nothin' is too hard for him to sort out. He can do anything he puts his mind to and if Rose said he can find a way to see her, I believe her. And I think you should too.'

Pete looked to Jackie, before looking back at his adopted daughter and her best friend. He closed his eyes and sighed.

'You better all go get packed then. You said it would be a long journey.'

Rose and Mickey whooped for joy, jumping up from the beanbag with slight difficulty before rushing for the door. Rose paused, before turning and leaning to press a kiss to her father's cheek. 'Thanks dad!' She said giddily, before turning to go pack.

'Do you think this is a good idea?' Pete said when they were out of earshot.

'I don't know,' Jackie sighed. 'But she has to do this. It's her choice.'

Rose picked up her bag, checking her appearance in the full length mirror. Hardly any make-up. Loose hair. Black leather replacing her usual denim.

Why did she feel so scared?

She was going to see the Doctor, even if it was for the last time. And yet fear was gnawing at her insides, making her hands shake and her stomach feel hollow.

'_Rose.' _He was calling. He needed her to follow it.

'I'm coming.'

They walked out the door, Jackie and Rose, followed by Mickey with Pete bringing up the rear, having locked the door. They had left a note for the staff of the house on the kitchen table, saying that they could have the next few days off.

Rose looked to her mother, seeing her carrying her bag and instantly moving to relieve her of it, fearing for the baby. Jackie made to shoo her off, but her daughter was not really there, her mind focussing only on the Doctor's voice and the prospect of seeing him once more.

Rose placed the bags in the back of the time-battered jeep, watched Mickey put his and Pete's in after hers, before moving round the car and following her mother into the front seats. Pete, silent and robotic, got into the seat besides his wife, turning the key in the ignition as soon as Mickey was safely positioned in the back of the car.

And off they went, into the dark and the mist. Following a whisper on the wind.

They kept on driving for hundreds of miles, hardly talking to each other. When he got too tired, Pete swapped with Mickey in shifts. But they didn't stop. No matter what, they didn't stop, except for toilet and coffee and food breaks. They couldn't stop.

He was calling.

They followed the voice, Rose's unerring navigation somehow telling her which way it was that they had to go. They passed through cities and countryside, the colours merging into an endless blur.

The voice stopped suddenly, Rose's eyes snapping into focus.

'It's here!' She turned to Pete, 'Stop here.'

She opened the door, her legs unsteady from lack of use. She walked out, over a grey expanse of sand and cold sea air. She heard her extended family get out of the car, felt their eyes follow her. But that didn't matter.

'_Rose.'_

His voice came, closer and louder than she had heard it for over three months. Her head snapped to where it seemed to come from, but could see nothing. No reassuring blue of the TARDIS, no brown pinstripes.

Nothing but the monotonous grey of the sand, sea and sky.

Welcome to Norway.

She looked back to her waiting family, the only specks of colour she could see, the bitter wind clawing at her hair, whipping it into a mad frenzy.

A new sound on the wind. Like a feather, dropping to the floor.

An angel loosing his wings.

He was standing there at last, her heart soaring at the sight of him.

'Where are you?'


	3. Norway and Nightmares

Chapter 3- Norway and Nightmares

**Chapter 3- Norway and Nightmares**

_  
iA new sound on the wind. Like a feather, dropping to the floor._

_An angel loosing his wing._

_He was standing there at last, her heart soaring at the sight of him._

'_Where are you?' /i_

He was there standing silently in front of her but… it was just like the dream. He was a mere shadow; transparent and thin. As if any moment the vicious wind may tear apart his very atoms, stealing him from her yet again. Thoughts of him saving her, grabbing her hand and telling her to run back to the TARDIS vanished, as if the tide was washing them away from her.

Leaving her to feel weak and frail and utterly alone.

'Inside the TARDIS,' he replied sadly, 'There's one tiny little gap in the universe left, just about to close. And it takes a lot of power to send this projection, I'm in orbit around a supernova,' a small smile fluttered across his lips, 'I'm burning up a sun just to say goodbye.'

She blinked. To say goodbye.

But… Sarah-Jane… all those other companions, he hadn't gone back. Hadn't burned a sun to change how things ended. He hadn't gone to so much trouble to say goodbye.

Just for her.

She swallowed down her tears.

'You look like a ghost,' she heard herself say, shaking her head.

'Hold on,' he twisted the top of the Sonic Screwdriver, pointing it to an unknown spot, no doubt on the control panel of the TARDIS.

How strange. Such a simple gesture, one that she saw so often, something from her old life, and yet it was this that made it all become real to her.

This was it. The end.

The Beast had been right. It said that she was going to die in battle, but he hadn't told her which part. Didn't tell her that it would be her heart; her very soul, that would be torn apart instead of her body in the battle of Canary Wharf.

And what a thing that she should only be able to see half of what she would miss. Because she wasn't just going to feel the pain of the loss of the Doctor, or the travelling, or the monsters, or even the Galoxian chips- which, the Doctor hadn't exaggerated in saying where the best in the universe. She had made another friend during her brief stint travelling through the stars.

The TARDIS.

She had been her only girly friend in a place filled with men. Jack, Mickey, Adam and of course the Doctor himself, but she had always been the only girl.

Except the TARDIS. She had comforted her when she missed home or the old Doctor, left cosmetics on her bed if she ran out and even helped her choose the most beautiful outfits for period visits. Rose had opened her soul to the ship, had seen into the infinite mind and memory of her only female companion. She had fallen to sleep to the sounds her beautiful and melancholy singing and she knew that she would miss her as much as she would miss what the TARDIS had shown her.

The device in the Doctor's hand buzzed and his form condensed, his body taking on form and solidity. Rose walked forwards, coming to a stop in front of him. He looked real; seemed real. And she had been able to touch him in her dream after all.

She raised her hand towards his pale cheek.

He told her there could be no touching.

No hugs, no holding of hands.

Nothing of their friendship to enjoy in the end of it all.

Why was it that there was always something missing? In the dream world he had been able to touch her, could talk to her and she even thought she had smelt his scent, but he had been invisible. This time he was there, standing right in front of her and yet impossible to touch, so close and yet such an inconceivable distance from her.

'Can't you come through properly?' she asked, lowering her hand, resisting the urge to blink, knowing that it would instantly dislodge the tears that her voice was threatening to reveal.

'The whole thing would fracture,' he explained, shaking his head. 'Two universes would collapse.'

'So?' She said harshly. The whole of existence seemed a small price to pay to be with the Doctor again. Luckily he saw it as a joke, instead of what she meant it to be, laughing softly and shifting his feet.

She laughed with him, staring out over the sea to hide the anger, the fear and the grief in her eyes for having been dealt such cruelty where it was not deserved.

Her eyes fluttered back to the Doctor's face, not wanting to waste her precious time with him staring out over the crushing waves of grey foam. He was watching her when she looked up, as if imprinting her image into his memory. After a long moment he looked up, over her head to skim over the monotonous grey of their surroundings.

He asked where they were.

She answered.

Didn't he seem older than last time she had seen him? More lines, even more pain.

Had she done that to him?

'Dårlig,' she repeated when he thought she said Dalek, 'It's Norwegian for bad,' he stared, nonplussed, 'This translates as Bad Wolf Bay.'

They both grinned breathlessly at that, the wretchedness of their situation weighing heavily on the air, cutting their moment of joviality short.

'How long have we got?'

She heard the crack in her voice.

'About two minutes.'

She heard the crack in her heart deepen.

Two minutes.

The words sliced through her like shards of ice. Two minute to say goodbye. Two minutes to remember for the rest of her Doctor-less life. Two minutes, then… nothing. No more.

He laughed sadly as she admitted to wordlessness, looking down at his feet as he shifted. He looked back at her face, his eyes open fully to her for the first time since she met him. He had told her he was old, but had never really shown. Not to her. But in that moment she saw every day of his ten lives, the burden of 900 years of knowledge and pain and loss so clear in his expressive eyes, and yet they seemed so much rawer than before.

He asked, in his own little way, about her family.

'Yeah there's five of us now. Mum, dad, Mickey… and the baby.'

He looked down suddenly, surprise registering on his face. 'You're not..?'

She thought for a moment, cold and sadness slowing her mind. Surely he didn't… did he really think that she would start a family without him? After all that time with her, did he really not know her feelings? Did he really not know her as well as she thought he did?

She laughed, shaking her head. 'No, it's mum,' he laughed in relief, looking to the pregnant woman in the distance. 'She's three months gone, more Tylers on the way.'

'And what about you, what are you…?'

She thought for a second. She felt that he didn't know her as well as she had thought he did.

This was the time to put it to the test.

'Yeah, I'm back working in the shop.'

'Well, good for you,' he nodded.

He believed her. He really thought for a second that she would want to go back to her normal life after everything she had seen with him? After everything he had shown her?

'Shut up,' she said, laughing off her hurt. This final meeting was not going as she had hoped. She was seeing now that she had been mistaken in thinking that he really knew her; that they were more in tune with each other than anything.

Before he had been able to see through her lies as easily as crystal. But then, who knows how long it had been for him. It could have been three months that he had been waiting; it could have been three years. The lines on his face, the tiredness of his eyes seemed to show so much more age than her memories told her.

She told him about the parallel Torchwood, the only thing she could say.

And that was it. All the pain, all the exhaustion fluttered from his face, replaced by a grin filled with such pride and happiness, it took all her hurt and whisked it away. Because in all her time with him, hadn't she always been looking for that? For his pride and approval? She had tried to learn from him, had tried to help him come to the answer, always looking for that proud smile to tell her that she had done well, that she was learning.

'Rose Tyler, Defender of the Earth.'

And yet, she couldn't bring herself to smile. What a hollow victory to have. What was the point of saving a world that was not hers, without the choice to go back to her own at the end of the day? What was the point of getting into and out of trouble without a hand to hold as you run? Her life with him had not been hard work. She had never had to dress sharp or fill in paper work at the end of the day or sit through tedious meetings. She hadn't had to have an interview to get to see the stars.

Torchwood sucked all the fun out of investigating alien activity. But it wasn't that that had her sobbing gently in front of the Doctor. Because there was one thing that would make all the other things seem so insignificant, if it wasn't for the fact that that tiny little thing was missing.

Him.

If he was there, she would like her job so much more. She wouldn't complain about the dress suit. She wouldn't complain about the paper work. If the Doctor was there with her, she would happily work in Torchwood for the rest of her life.

But he wasn't. That was her tragedy.

He could see the pain in her eyes; she could tell. He looked away suddenly, swallowing. 'You're dead, officially. Back home,' she nodded. Yet more truth behind the Beast's horrific threat. 'So many people died that day, and you've gone missing. You're on the list of the dead.'

She looked down, biting back the tears that threatened to overwhelm her. Her life back home was over. Her friends… they'd never know that she was still alive. Shareen… Keisha… all her friends from the old estate… they'll all think she's dead. They'll mourn her.

Or they might not. They hadn't heard from her in such a long time, they might not even care. Or they might not even know. They might just spend years, wondering why she didn't keep in touch anymore.

She swallowed hard at a sudden thought.

What if they weren't even there to remember? He said many people had died. What if they had been some of the casualties of the invasion?

She might never know.

'But here you are.' The Doctor said, trying to comfort her as she covered her mouth to hide her sobs, 'Living your life, day after day,' he looked suddenly serious, 'The one adventure I can never have.'

Wasn't it just? A life filled with chips and beans on toast, work and telly and sleep. They had joked about a normal life, back on Krop Tor, and she had seen his face at the thought of a mortgage, a house with windows and doors and carpets. He could never live like that. And she didn't know whether she could anymore either.

She choked out a broken question, would she see him again? She had to know. She had to know whether closing the breach once and for all meant that she would also lose her hopes of him visiting in her dreams, or whether she may still have something to long for.

'You can't,' he said, shaking his head a fraction, sadness plain on his face.

She asked about his future and he said the same old life. She asked if it would be alone. He nodded.

He didn't reply, just a nod. Nothing more than that. Easier to lie with a nod, Rose thought. No waver of the voice to incriminate him. Because she knew that it was a lie. He didn't travel alone.

Sarah-Jane, Nyssa, Tegan, Ace, Romana. How many other countless names and faces? She had only found out about the others when he had mentioned them, dreamily when something reminded him of them. The finding of a cricket bat. An explosion that reminded him of something called "Nitro-9".

And yet… it didn't hurt to know that he would find someone else. Not anymore.

Because now she knew.

She had never wanted him to be alone. She had seen the broken man he became when he had no-one there to travel with. She knew the pain that the rest of her life was going to be when this was over. She could never wish that on him. Never him.

She became aware of the time, of the seconds that were passing her by. Two minutes, he had said. How long of that was left? This was the last chance that she had to tell him the painful truth. If she didn't say it now… she wouldn't have this chance again.

Why had she left it this long?

But then… she knew why. Because now there wasn't the threat of uncomfortable silences, of a ruined friendship. Because now there wasn't going to be another time for her to say it.

This was her last chance, and there was nothing that would stop her.

'I lo…' she broke off. So much for nothing stopping her. She tried to force her voice under control, school her emotions to let her say the most important sentence of her short life.

'I love you.'

He didn't quite react. When he did, it was only the tiniest of smiles fluttered across his face, uncomfortable and surprised.

'Quite right too.'

Rose nodded, holding in her disappointment, hiding behind her smiles like she had so many times before. The smile she used whenever he hurt her.

A smile used too often.

'And I suppose…' she looked up, shock barely concealed behind the mask of tears, 'if it's my last chance to say it,' she held her breath. Could he really be about to say what she thought he would? Did he really…

'Rose Tyler…'

And that was it. That was the moment Rose Tyler's heart broke. That was the moment the gap to her home closed. The door slamming shut in her face.

That was the moment that the Doctor stepped out of existence, disappearing in the wind, his words unfinished.

And it shattered Rose's life.

It took a moment for his disappearance to register with her, and she found herself still staring at the space that he had stood moments before, but was now empty and harsh. She gasped silently, but the air didn't seem to help. She couldn't breathe. Her face crumpled, tears rushing forwards as if they too wanted to reach out for the Doctor.

Painful sobs racked her body as she brought a hand to her face. She held her sides as the tears coursed down her face and her whole body convulsed. She was all alone, in the middle of an unknown universe. She ran shaking fingers through her hair, remembering something the Doctor had once said.

_iFear, loneliness, they're the big ones, Rose_./i

It was now that she really understood those words. Because it was in that moment that she knew that, even if it was impossible, even if there was no way of doing it, she was never going to stop looking for a way to get back to the Doctor.

_iSome of the most terrible acts ever committed have been inspired by them./i_

She turned on the spot, looking back at her gathered family. Her mother, her best friend and the man who wasn't her father. Jackie stepped forwards, extracting herself from the rest of the group and running to her daughter, seeing that it was over and moving to comfort her broken child.

She caught Rose in a soft hug, not understanding her words but rubbing her back, her comforting words falling on deaf ears.

Only two words were clear through the tears and the sobs.

'He's gone.'

What she held in her arms was not the happy, bright-eyed nineteen year old that ran away two long years ago.

'He's gone.'

Rose Tyler was broken.

And the only man capable of putting her back together again was the man who had broken her to start with.

_iHello Rose Tyler./i_

Manic laughter.

Standing alone in darkness.

She could see herself, as if a spot light was being shone on her, yet having no effect on the world around her.

'Who's there?' she called into the darkness.

Rose knew she was dreaming; could remember going to sleep in the hotel room in Norway, but it was like the other dreams. Everything felt completely real. And in some ways it felt even more real than the world she was living in now.

_iOh, but you already know me Rose./i_

A face seemed to fold out of the darkness.

No, not a face.

A mask.

The Majora's mask.

Its vivid colours seemed incandescent in the darkness, its strange, heart-shaped face standing just below Rose's eye level, at about the height of a child, unsupported and bodiless.

It cocked to the side, like the children from under the tree. The laughter came again.

_iYou were not expecting me, were you?_

_You were expecting him._

_He's not coming again Rose._

_He can't ever come again_./i

'Who are you?' Rose asked, the mask's mad eyes unnerving her.

_iI am the Majora./i _


	4. Masks and Wolves Reveal Themselves

Chapter 4-Masks and Wolves Reveal Themselves

A/Ns this is a shorter chapter than usual, and I'm loving that people are reviewing my stories **sends out the love** but I've decided to make my updates weekly. So, now every Thursday, I will update this story. It's just 'cos of homework and the evilness of reality that's making it hard to make time to write. But I will **try** to keep this promise; every Thursday, from now on.

_**Chapter 4-Masks and Wolves Reveal Themselves. **_

_You were not expecting me, were you?_

_You were expecting him._

_He's not coming again Rose._

_He can't ever come again_.

'Who are you?' Rose asked, the mask's mad eyes unnerving her.

_I am the Majora. _

Suddenly she was falling, deeper and deeper, plummeting into the never ending chasm of the mask's pupils. Images of her life flashed all around her, pain thrummed through her head as bright colours passed her by, coming to a stop on an image of her at six years old.

It was the day after her birthday. She was standing alone on the walkway outside her flat, looking out at the vast expanse of bright pinpricks that dotted the blue velvet of the night sky. There were still helium balloons cellotaped to the door of her flat.

Her mother stepped out, standing behind her. 'Ain't you cold out here?'

'I love the stars,' Rose's younger self said, eyes still glued to the dark sky, 'I want to see it out there, mummy. I want to see the stars up close.'

'Maybe, one day you will,' Jackie said, ruffling her hair, 'but for now you're gonna have to do with the glow-in-the-dark ones on your ceiling. Time for bed, little missy.'

Younger Rose tried to stifle a yawn, 'I'm not even tired yet.'

'So I can see,' Jackie picked her up, smiling as her daughter giggled and tried to struggle.

'I don' wanna go to bed!'

'Tough! Maybe you'll see the stars in your dreams.'

As she tucked the young girl into her bright pink bed, she dropped a light kiss on to her forehead. 'Goodnight Rosie.'

'Goodnight mummy.'

Rose blinked. She was falling through the endless tunnel of her memories, snatched words forcing through.

_Have a good life, Rose. Do that for me. Have a fantastic life._

_I don't age. I regenerate. But humans decay. You wither and you die. Imagine watching that happen to someone you…_

_I've done it again, picked another stupid little ape._

She came to a stop in the warm, steamy room in the sanctuary base on Krop Tor, staring at the screen.

_And the lost girl, so far away from home. The Valiant child who will die in battle so very soon._

'Stop it!' Rose screamed, closing her eyes and looking away from herself as angry tears slid down her face. 'Majora, stop this now!'

The sanctuary base faded away, leaving only the darkness and the mask.

_But my dear_, it said_, I am merely showing you the truth._

'And what truth is that?' she yelled, 'That I should be with him? 'Cause guess what? I already know that!'

_No, my child. I am showing you the error of your ways. The Bad Wolf and the Storm. They can only hurt each other. How can such opposites possibly live in harmony? This was how it was always going to be. _

Her mind flashed gold, and it seemed that gold was drifting around her, a stark contrast against the cold darkness of her surroundings.

'But is a Storm not a blessing to a hunted Wolf?' she said in someone else's tongue, her voice melodious and shot through with power and darkness and light, 'Does it not hide a Wolf's prints, wash away her scent? You know nothing of this universe, creature of the darkness and the wicked. You are tiny. Hiding in the darkness of insanity. You know only the hurt of being outcast by your fellows.'

The mask seemed to be pulling away, fear suddenly radiating off it in waves that Rose could almost taste. 'My Storm was my shelter,' she said slightly quieter, but suddenly it rose to a harsh pitch, 'and I will not live until I find him again. And if you should torment my anxious subconscious again, my wrath shall know no bounds. I shall rip the wretched life from your wooden body and watch your soul burn to cinders. Now be gone!'

Rose awoke, a glittering gold dust falling all around her- no, not falling- it was flowing from her, emanating from her clammy flesh, bleeding from her every pore. She sat bolt up right, fear drumming through her veins like liquid flame.

The powdered gold followed her, weaving in great waves and rivers around her as her skin became coated in a thin metallic sheen. She breathed raggedly, gulping the air, but the air was thick with the gold. It was choking her. Every gasp burned her throat, every breath out expelling great clouds of gold.

Terrified tears were cascading down her cheeks as her eyes burned, gold stains blossoming over the hotel duvet and her pyjamas, turning them gold as well. Her hair flowed around her head like a halo, threads of gold in the flood.

'Be calm, my child,' her voice said with the same powerful melody as in the dream, her mouth in another's control, 'I am not your enemy.'

_Who are you?_ Rose screamed in her head, her voice refusing to work for her own mind.

'I am the Bad Wolf. I will return you to the Lonely Angel lost in the storm.'

'Rose?' There was a knock on the door and the gold seemed to blow away. 'Rose, sweetheart, I heard you talking, let me in.'

She breathed hard, gasping the clean air as her hair fell into its normal position at her shoulders and her bedclothes returned to their pale blue, if a little damper selves.

She threw off the duvet, looking down at her shaking hands, noting the metallic gloss was gone from her flesh.

She opened the door, letting Jackie enter and closing the door behind her.

'I heard you shout,' Jackie said, turning to see her daughter in tears. 'Wha- what's the matter?'

'What's happening to me mum?' she sobbed as her mother pulled her into a gentle hug.


	5. Journeys and NotSoBad Wolves

Chapter 5-Journeys and Not-So-Bad Wolves

**A/n: Okay, apologies anyone who's still bothering to read this, but I'm away next week, so no new updates for a little while. I could be nice and not leave it on a cliffhanger, of course… but where would be the fun in that? Mucho loves!!**

**Chapter 5-Journeys and Not-So-Bad Wolves**

The journey back was as quiet, if not quieter than the journey out. Rose had tried to explain what had happened to her mother, but it only scared her to think about it. And, just as she thought she might be able to explain, they were interrupted by Pete as he came to say they were going to head back to London soon. After that, her nerves were just not up to it.

So they had travelled from Norway to London, with a broken woman curled in the back of the car, insisting that it was only fair that Mickey have her seat, as he'd been forced to sit in the back before. Mickey had argued, but the dead look in her eyes and the set mouth had told him he was fighting a loosing battle.

So she had sat, her knees pulled to her chest and her leather jacket pulled tight around her. Pete had bought it for her, not long after the Battle of Canary Wharf, no doubt a dropped hint or subtle suggestion from Jackie. It reminded her of her first Doctor. The scent of the leather, the feel of it under her hands. But there was, of course, a lot missing from it.

The scent of his skin.

His comforting arms wrapping it around her.

The battered, worn look and the back-off signal that his always seemed to radiate.

On her feet, her usual trainers were abandoned in favour of a pair of black baseball-style Converse.

Just like he used to wear.

Only different.

Her feet looked a lot smaller than his ever did, making the shoes look somehow wrong.

The laces were still in perfect condition.

Not frayed and brown from mud and being tripped over one too many times.

The toe and edges of the canvas were too clean. Too white.

His had always been dirty, from the moment he stepped into the Tyler flat on Christmas day. She had guessed they had been rooted out of the wardrobe room in the TARDIS. Somehow they got dirty on the journey up the stairs to her flat.

Or maybe he had worn them in a previous incarnation.

She realized just how little she knew about the man she loved. She had gotten the idea that he let her closer to him than he did others; that perhaps she understood him that little bit more than his companions usually did, but with a man so steeped in mystery, did that really mean anything?

She rubbed her hands over her face, forcing herself not to sink back into the sadness and despair that she felt threatening to overwhelm her. She was stronger than this. The Doctor had pride in her; believed that she could defend this world like she knew he would back home.

i_ Have a good life. Do that for me, Rose. Have a fantastic life._/i

He had said that the first time they had been torn apart, but at least that time he had known what he was doing. He had prepared himself for it even if she hadn't. This time, they had both been caught unawares.

And he had been sending her home. Not losing her to a world that was not her own.

But there was no TARDIS to crack into this time. She didn't even have anything to remember him.

Well… almost nothing.

Under her clothes a simple Yale key, hanging from a thin chain that she never took off.

In her pocket, a pair of 3-D glasses.

In her wardrobe a turquoise blue angora jacket that still smelled of him.

And that was it. That was the life of Rose Tyler, summed up in three simple objects.

Three objects that spoke of the best time of her life.

She knew that in some ways she was probably lucky. Not many people had the chance to pick up a life with their dead fathers. Not many had the chance to finally see their parents happy together after they lost their respective partners.

But she didn't want that anymore. She had of course wanted it, long ago. When she had asked the Doctor to take her to see her father- her real father- die. She had made the mistake of thinking that she could change the way things had gone. She had lost the Doctor then too.

A sad, nasty smile crossed her lips. When her parents were together, she lost the Doctor. Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony. She sees her parents' happiness renewed and in return her own is ripped away.

But that's not fair, she chastises herself. She had always wanted her mother to be happy, and now she was.

She just wished that it wasn't at her expense.

Rose lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Willing herself to stay awake.

So strange, for a woman whose life lived only in her dreams. Now they were the things that scared her most. They had been travelling all day. They'd all gone straight to bed.

She had cried.

She had let herself cry for the Doctor. For her broken heart. For his lost words. She had cried and cried, lying on her bed in the foetal position. She had allowed herself that weakness.

And now she had nothing to do but lie in bed and fend off the beckoning whispers of sleep.

Because she was scared.

Scared of what she would be when she awoke. Her mother had told her, on the day of the Battle that she thought that she was changing.

But not like this.

She begged her eyes to stay open, but she was fighting a losing battle.

She blinked.

And she was swallowed by the darkness.

Rose was standing in infinite darkness. There was nothing around her.

Just the silence, pressing in on her, suffocating her.

She turned, round and round, desperate to find some source of light.

Of hope.

That desperation changed as soon as she saw the light.

It folded itself out of the darkness, some way away from her. A shimmering gold creature, formed from the dust that had terrified her the morning before.

A glittering gold wolf.

Time seemed to warp around the being like the gold dust that it was made from. One second it was feet away from her, the next it was right in front of her, then suddenly walking around her slowly, as if its limbs were made of lead, and then back in front of her in less time than it took for Rose to think about it.

'Do you know me?' the Wolf said calmly inside her head as it sat before her.

Rose didn't answer.

'Answer me, child. Do you know me?'

'Bad Wolf,' Rose whispered.

'Yes, my dear,' it smiled sweetly. It cocked its head to the side, watching her with startling blue eyes. It grinned, silver teeth sparkling in the darkness, 'I can see you shaking. There is nothing to fear, my child. I would never hurt the body or the mind that I share.'

'Wh-why are you here?' Rose said at last, hugging herself.

The Wolf straightened its head, sniffed the air. A grin cracked its face.

'You do not remember our first meeting, do you?'

Rose's brow knitted as she wondered what the Wolf meant. Then her eyes went wide as the gold blurred as it pounced on her.

Images flew before her eyes; a sweet parody of the Majora's visit. Her first Doctor, grabbing her face and planting a kiss on her forehead.

i Rose Tyler you're a genius!/i

Showing her which buttons to hold down. Talking too fast for her to keep up. Running outside. The Time Rotor pulsing and the TARDIS taking off.

Protocol one.

i_Do that for me Rose. Have a fantastic life./_i

Mickey looking down at her.

i _You can't spend the rest of your life thinking about the Doctor._/i

He and Jackie helping her open the control panel.

i_But how do I forget him?_/i

Standing beside the console, staring into the raw flood of time from the very heart of existence.

The Doctor cowering at her feet.

i _What have you done?_/i

Daleks crumbling to dust at a wave of her hand.

i _Everything must come to dust. All things. Everything dies._ /i

Her words spoken in another's tongue.

_iI bring life._/i

Jack's life surging through her fingers as she returned it to its rightful owner.

The Doctor standing before her, reaching out to her.

i _Come here._/i

His cool hands taking hers, ice against the flames.

i _I think you need a Doctor_./i

Cool lips against hers, quelling the fire in her mind.

Rose opened her eyes to find the Wolf sitting in front of her, contemplating her calmly.

'He kissed you to save your life,' the Wolf said quietly, 'he tore me from you, but a spark of me remains as the being you see before you.'

Rose thought for a moment. 'So… he regenerated… because of me?' tears welled in her eyes, 'He died for nothing.'

'Why do you say that?'

'Well, he… he kissed me to get rid of you, but you're still here.'

'No, my child. When you looked into the time ship from whence I came, you absorbed too much. You could not control the power; it was burning you. What you see before you is but a tiny fragment of what you absorbed. I do not possess you as I once did, but I am instead, how you say… a "back seat driver."'

'Why are you here.'

The Wolf grinned, laughing majestically 'So inquisitive. I can see why he likes you.'

'Why are you here?' Rose said again, almost shouting.

'The same reason for which you sought my help the first time. You want a way of getting back to the Doctor, even when you know it's impossible. And just as you need to get back to the Doctor, I must return to my mother. This universe tires me. Neither of us belong here, Rose. We never can belong here. We must return to those we love.'

'How?'

A glinting smile played across the gold Wolf's face; a pure wolf grin, shining in the darkness.

It was standing beside her before she had time to blink.

'I will show you.'

She was standing in a small, cramped room. The décor was of an old style, yet it still looked quite new. "Ye Olde junk," her mum would call it. Everything was made of wood. A wardrobe beside her, a small table on the other side of the room. A small bed, with a multicoloured tapestry hanging above it.

But it wasn't the needlework that had Rose's jaw slack and her eyes wide.

It was the bed.

Or, more precisely, who was lying on the bed.

The Doctor.


	6. Memories and Tears

Chapter 6- Memories and Tears

_**Chapter 6- Memories and Tears **_

He was staring at the ceiling, no shock or surprise registering on his face at her sudden appearance in the room. His eyes flickered to her suddenly, making her heart flip over at the sight of those beautiful eyes.

'Wait 'til you read book seven,' he said, sighing and turning his attention back to the ceiling, 'Oh, I cried.'

What was he talking about?

'You can only watch for now, Rose,' Bad Wolf whispered in her ear, 'you are but a ghost.'

She watched him for a second, until his eyes flickered back to her and creased in a way reminiscent of her first Doctor; reproaching for a silly human mistake.

''Cause it isn't!' there was a pause, during which his gaze switched back to the ceiling, 'It looks like witchcraft but it isn't. Can't be. Are you gonna stand there all night?'

She breathed deeply. He had found someone new and was happy to share a bed with them.

But then she shook off the thoughts of jealousy, reprimanding herself. This was the Doctor. His ideas of boundaries were very different to hers, as she should know very well, having been in many similar situations like this. He was a Time Lord. Sleeping together, to him, meant exactly that. Sleeping in the same bed, not what the average human from her part of town thought.

She walked over to the bed, suddenly nervous. It felt strange to know that it might not be only her following his suggestion, that it was not her that he was talking to or occasionally looking at. She sat on the edge of the bed, smiling when he made room for her.

But he was still staring at the ceiling, as if refusing to look at his new companion properly. Not saying a word. Just… staring blindly at the white plain of the ceiling.

He'd changed.

He seemed… older. But that wasn't quite it. He didn't look any greyer; didn't have more lines than when he had seen him on the beach… could it really only have been yesterday? But it seemed exhaustion and weariness seemed to radiate from him, leaking from every pore. He seemed… jaded.

'There's such a thing as psychic energy, but a human couldn't channel it like that.'

She wondered absent-mindedly what trouble he had managed to find for himself. She laughed softly. Five minutes without her and he was already ankle-deep in danger.

Her smile faltered.

With someone else.

i_No, don't go there,_/i she told herself, trying to stop herself following the path of jealousy. This person, whoever they were, was a person in themselves. A man or woman that had dreamed of the stars and found the man to show it to them.

'Not without a generator the size of Taurton, no.'

He flipped over suddenly onto his side, Rose's heart following in kind. He was lying on his side, facing her and looking into her- no, his new companion's- face.

'There's something missing, Martha.'

Female, then. She shook her head, sliding down the bed to look at him properly, imprinting his features onto her mind. When had she ever taken the time to stare at him, without the fear of embarrassing herself?

And when would she ever have the chance again?

'Something really close.'

His head fell to the pillow and he was staring into her eyes.

'Staring me right in the face, and I can't see it.'

He looked into her eyes for a moment more, before pain seemed to flitter threw them and they flickered over her shoulder.

'Rose would know.'

She gasped.

He was thinking of her, even now. And his voice; it held such love, it was so soft and gentle. He looked so young, so suddenly. As if she had somehow rejuvenated him, even just at the thought of her. Then his eyes were showing so much pain. His eyes had always been so revealing in this regeneration, but this… this was taking it to a whole new level. She could suddenly see exactly what he was thinking, like a film reel was playing before her eyes; image after image of i_her_/i laughing, smiling, holding his hand, looking up at him, looking at the stars, running into his arms.

Kissing him.

'A friend of mine, Rose,' his voice anchored her to him, 'right now she'd say exactly the right thing.'

And there was something in his voice. Something like… awe.

Love.

He looked back at her and the reel flickered to a stop, and then her smile was replaced by an image of a hurt looking girl, lying on the bed next to him, where Rose was lying.

'Still,' he said abruptly, flipping over and gazing back at the ceiling, 'Can't be helped. You're a novice, never mind. I'll take you back home tomorrow.'

i_Still rude, I see,_/i Rose thought absently.

A second later the candle on the bedside table flickered out, throwing them into darkness. Leaving the Doctor to stare at the ceiling and Rose to stare at the Doctor.

Just watching. Not quite touching- i_can I touch him?_ /i- but just lying next to him in perfect silence. His eyes didn't move. He didn't blink. She couldn't hear him breathing.

The gentle rise and fall of his chest the only sign that he was alive.

She wished –she so wished- that he could see her, i hold/i her. Just know she was there. Tell her that it would all be okay, that he'd figure something out.

But… she wasn't there. Not really. He looked like he was next to her but… he was still in the other universe.

With someone else.

And she was alone.

She swallowed back the threat of tears. Looked down to his hand, lying palm down on the mattress. His fingers bent slightly, leaving a space underneath. The place where her hand should be.

She moved her hand, hesitant in case the dream should shatter with a touch. She slid her hand into its rightful position. In his.

And she gasped.

He was thinking about her, even now. She could see his memories, merging with the copy of her own. A memory of a moment, long in the past. Before the battle, before the Wire, and the Beast and the Isolus.

They stayed the night in a hotel, on some far flung pleasure planet. She had just lost Mickey. He had said- no, insisted- that they take a break from their usual break-neck life. They left Jackie's, went straight, not only to the right planet, but even the right time zone.

They had been put in the same room, and he had suggested moving the beds together so they could chat in bed. They had laughed, talked of everything an nothing. He had held her as she cried, had said that he was safe. That Mickey was happy. She had fallen asleep in the end.

She never knew that he had watched her. He had sat, silently on his bed, watching her sleep. Stroking her hair away from her face. Pressing the lightest of feather light kisses to her cheek.

To her temple.

To her lips.

The Doctor, in the Elizabethan room, tightened his fingers around her hand, making her gasp as she came tumbling back to the here and now. She saw him swallow, his Adams apple bob. A single tear slid down from his now closed eye, soon lost in the unruly locks of his dark hair. His hand tightened again.

His eyes flickered open. Tears glistened in the half-light.

His brow furrowed.

His fingers squeezed hers.

He looked at his hand, the cogs working in his mind, wondering the reason that his hand refused to close.

His eyes widened.

He looked right at her.

Rose's breath caught.

She blinked…

And woke in her bed in the Tyler mansion.

'No!' she cried out, sitting bolt upright. A moment later, Mickey ran in, as he had long been up and sitting idly in his room next door to hers.

'He was there, Mick,' she said, tears springing to her eyes. She lifted her hand up to her lips, then to her chest.

She gasped for breath.

'He knew I was there.'

Mickey moved forward, but stopped as she threw herself almost violently back down onto the mattress, curling into the foetal position around her hand.

'I can go back to him!' she said, burrowing her head into the pillow, 'I just need to sleep! I can go back! In my dreams! I can be with him!'

'Rose…' Mickey stepped forward, touching her shoulder.

She snarl like a wild animal- i like a wolf/i a strange, melodious voice seemed to echo in his mind- lips pulled back viciously, her teeth bared and her hackles raised. He yelped and pulled away.

Her eyes were completely black; dark orbs shining brightly, a golden aura shining around her. Then she blinked, her eyes went back to normal. The gold vanished. She stared at him for a moment.

Tears swelled in her eyes. 'I miss him, Mick.'

He swallowed fear like none that he'd ever felt, sitting on the bed next to her, letting her hold him.


End file.
